Memo to Mommy Em

By Anthony O. Alcantara

A late-night series of marathon meetings with Baby Aria led to an important decision: a memo of appreciation to Mommy Em ought to be issued before the end of Mother’s Month.

While a sumptuous lunch buffet at the brilliantly named Buffet 101 was charged under representation to celebrate Mother’s Day, a memo was still deemed necessary to cap the occasion.

So here is the copy of the memo, so that relatives, friends, and those who enjoy reading office memos may know:

INTEROFFICE MEMO

Issued by: Anthony O. Alcantara, CEO, and Ariadne M. Alcantara, COO (Child of Owner)

Date: May 31, 2012

Signature: (Original signed by Anthony Alcantara and hand-marked by Ariadne Alcantara)

Receivers: Relatives, Friends, Memo Aficionados

Commendation and Promotion of Mary Louise M. Alcantara

It is with great pride and honor that we commend Mary Louise M. Alcantara for her outstanding achievements as Mother, a role which she accepted on August 31, 2010.

Her achievements as Mother have eclipsed all other achievements since she danced Binasuan so flawlessly in her elementary days. For that, we are promoting her from Mother and Chief Finance Officer to Mother and Executive Vice President for Finance.

Here is a partial list of her achievements:

  • Endured unimaginable pain during childbirth, no anesthesia
  • Breast-fed Aria despite formidable challenges
  • Nursed Aria in the middle of the night
  • Lost sleep due to frequent feedings of Aria
  • Took care of Daddy and Aria:
    • cooked for them
    • changed diapers (Aria only)
  • Cuddled and kissed Aria to soothe her when in a bad mood
  • Cuddled and kissed Daddy to soothe him when in an equally bad mood
  • Ran after Aria at the playground and most other places
  • Bought and read books about breast-feeding and how to take care of a baby
  • Read children’s books to Aria
  • Sang Der Hölle Rache and other songs to Aria
  • Taught Aria her ABCs (Aria can recite them already, though sometimes she skips letters)
  • Taught Aria how to count from 1 to 20 (going to 30 now)
  • Taught Aria the basic colors
  • Taught Aria the names of things using flashcards… A – Apple, B – Boht (Boat), C – Cat… H – Tigidig-tigidig (which means horse)…
  • Began to teach Aria to read (Daddy helps with this, too. And even if Aria still can’t read, we hope the lessons will stick eventually)
  • Attended La Leche League meetings
  • Promoted breast-feeding to relatives and friends
  • Donated breast milk to strangers
  • Pumped breast milk for Aria
  • Endured Aria’s acrobatics when breast-feeding
  • Bathed Aria
  • Cleaned up after Aria
  • Became a working mom

There are many more. But space is limited. We have seen an increase in revenue as a result of the new job, and reduced costs as a result of breast-feeding and other austerity measures.

Mommy Em’s love and patience have also led to unprecedented growth in our household. Both Aria and Daddy have grown bigger.

For all these achievements, we offer our profuse gratitude and unending love.

We love you, Mommy Em. Mwah.

###

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2 Responses to “Memo to Mommy Em”

  1. Praise God the Father for giving me the best people in the world! I love you, Daddy and Ariadne. Yes you both definitely grew bigger, lol! And I don’t mind if I don’t! 🙂

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